Using my blog ala "Julie and Julia"

This morning during my scripture study I wished I had a way to share my impressions and thoughts with my family, which is spread across the mainland. And an impression came to my mind to use my blog. Then I thought about the advertisements I've seen for the movie "Julie and Julia" where a young woman decides to use her blog to describe her experience of cooking her way through Julia Child's cookbook. Well I've decided to follow that example.

I hope you are able to feel the Spirit as I record my study of the Book of Mormon. I've been slowly studying and pondering each verse and I take the time to write down my thoughts and impressions as I study. I began at the beginning and have been studying almost everyday since April and I have progressed to II Nephi 7, which is where I will begin this blog. Perhaps one day I will transcribe my notes from the previous chapters, but for now I am content to begin this blog where I am in my studies.

August 5, 2009 Reading: II Nephi 7 (Isaiah 50)
In this chapter the Lord is calling to His children. He reminds us of His power and the courage needed and given to those who are completely converted to being a disciple of Christ. He also reminds us that when we feel isolated from His presence it is because of the choices we have made to walk away in sin or apathy--we no longer actively seek to communicate with Him.

We see that there is a price to be paid for discipleship. For example, I learned very early in life that people will use their free agency to hurt others. I have not suffered physical abuse, but I have suffered mental abuse to the point where, on a very basic level, I do not trust people I do not know to be kind. So I hold back and I watch them interact with other people. I wait to see if they use other people to feel powerful or superior. In other words I assume strangers to be unkind before I know them and I am afraid of being hurt. This is a great obstacle in being a disciple of Christ because I hold back in love and service. I am just now beginning to understand why I must pray for the gift of charity--the pure love of Christ. If I possesed that gift I would see people differently. I would see them with the Spirit and feel the love of the Savior for every man, woman, and child. I would then recieve the courage to go forth and be a true disciple of the Savior because "pure love casteth away all fear". Notice the courage and blessings associated with true discipleship in II Nephi 7: 5-11:

• physical abuse can be overcome--think of the life of so many prophets. They did not volunteer to be abused, but the Lord blessed them to overcome the abuse and to forgive their abusers. I find that astounding because I want to do almost anything to avoid being hurt in any fashion.
• mental confusion--the way some people have of making evil look good and good look evil. The Lord promises that if we have the companionship of the Holy Ghost we will not be decieved.
• The Lord promises to "be near, to justify, to help" and I know that the Lord always and in all ways keeps His promises.

I am foolish to fear what others may do so long as I trust in the Lord. I am foolish to think that I would be free from the hurt and pain that others may cause by using their ability to choose in harmful and negative ways. I want to be safe. I want to be happy. I do not want to stumble and fall away from the Lord. I know that mortality includes pain and suffering, trial and affliction, and other experiences that have the potential to be unpleasant. However, I trust that the Lord keeps His promises and He has promised eternal joy for those who follow Him while in mortality. I think it is very important for me to seek after the gift of charity so that I may be filled with the pure love of Christ and be free from my fear.